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Dear Senator Cruz…or any Republican for that matter…

Thought it time to resurrect this:

Dear Mr./Ms. Republican,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I 
have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and
support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As  you 
said “in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman.” I try to 
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to 
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that 
Leviticus 18: 22 clearly states it to be an abomination. . . End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements 
of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25: 44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and 
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you 
clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in 
Exodus 21: 7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for 
her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness – Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do 
I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. 
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35: 
2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to 
kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination – Lev. 11: 10, it is a lesser abomination than 
homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21: 20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I 
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does 
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair 
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. 
How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11: 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes 
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19: 19 by planting two 
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of 
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to 
curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the 
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24: 10-16. Couldn’t 
we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with 
people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20: 14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, Mr./Ms. Republican,  and 
thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can
help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and 
unchanging.